Kamatari's All Out Drag Show
by Iron Mouse
Summary: Kamatari host a Drag Show at the Akebeko with the help of Kaoru and Tae. The guys aren't to thrilled about it.(hehe). Pure humor.
1. Preshow

  
  
  
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**Kamatari's All Out Drag Show**  
**Part 1 out of 3**  
By Kimi (Iron Mouse)  
Chibichibi_ironmouse@yahoo.com  
MouseMakingSushi@aol.com  
  
  
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**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or Ayashi no Ceres, I'm just a poor student trying to figure how to pay next month rent._  
  
  
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**Author's Notes:** _I felt I had to do a humor fic, Crimson Tears next chapter will be out soon most likely in the next two weeks, I have to move into my dorm so there will be a small delay in things._  
  


_There is a bit of shonen-ai, most of it on Kamatari's part. _  
_On the most part this is Non-yaoi. _  
  
_Please refrain from flaming my story because you don't believe in homosexuality. I don't mind flames, there's beliefs, but on that topic is just wrong._

_Oh before I forget... This is all humor. So feel free to laugh maybe cry but laughing is better._  
  
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**Girls' dressing room: 1 hour till showtime**  
  
"I can't believe you talked me into this," Megumi Takani said as she put her black raven hair into a white fedora. She had a wifebeater on and white pants with black suspenders to keep them on their body. Western clothes was one thing but male western clothes was another.  
  
"It's all about friendship right," Kaoru Himura grab her pinstripe coat and held it over her shoulder.  
  
"How your lovelife again, as I recalled Kenshin didn't look so happy when you mention this idea to him," Misao Makimachi continue to shake her head disbelieving what she was going to do when Kamatari had came up to her with the idea, she said no with out even thinking about it. Then she drugged Kaoru into the idea and it was over and she found her self in a suit and tie.  
  
"It is going just fine now, all it took was a little persuading," Kaoru held a grinned on her face.  
  
"Persuading," Kamatari spoke as she was helping Misao get into her pants.  
  
"I can do it myself, thank you," Misao whacked Kamatari's hands away from her and the pants.  
  
"Fine fine," Kamatari let go of her pants causing them to fall at Misao feet and Misao to fall to the floor causing everyone in the room to laugh.  
  
"Yes, I used my womanly skills," Kaoru said as the laughter died down and Misao picked herself from the floor  
  
"Didn't know you had it in you, Tanuki," Megumi put on her white coat grabbing a cigar and striking a pose for the room.  
  
"Well, how did you get Sanosuke to do it," Misao asked but only received a sly grin from the fox.  
  
"He lost at a game of poker"  
  
  
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**Guys' dressing room : 1 hour till showtime**  
  
  
"I feel pretty so so pretty," Makoto Shishio looked into the mirror with dancing in his seat with his hands.  
  
"Damn you're ugly, for crying outloud, Saitou makes a better woman than you," Sanosuke yelled.  
  
"Men or shall I say women, we start in one hour," Tae knocked on the their door as she sightly open it to take a peek at them. "Kamatari has got to see this," She squealed in delight leaving the men to fix themselves up.  
  
"Okay, one more time. WHY am I dressed as _Prescilla, Queen Of The Desert_?" Sano cupped his fake breast as he looked himself over in the mirror.  
  
"Persuasion," Kenshin mumbled as he rested his head on the desk quietly banging his head to get rid of the situation.  
  
"I heard you lost at a game of poker again, rooster head," Cho answered.  
  
"Shut your mouth broom head," Sano yelled back.  
  
"and this is what hell is truly like," Saitou inhaled another drag from his cigarette, right at this moment it was the one of the two things keeping him sane or else he would be joining Kenshin.  
  
"Actually it quite nice," Shishio put on a blonde wig and began adjusting it, "Hmmm, blondes do have more fun," He let out a menacing laugh as the men just stared at him.  
  
"So is it why you are enjoying this," Sano could not help but comment while Kenshin just shook his head in disbelief.

"I wanna be love by you, just you," Shishio continue to sing.  
  
  
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**Outside dressing rooms: 40 minutes till showtime**  
  
"Kenshin are you in here," Kaoru knocked on the door of the men's dressing room as the redhead ex-assassin came out wearing a yukata looking quite grim.  
  
"Will you cut that out," She gave him a peck on the cheek causing a slight smile to appear as he wrap arms around her giving her a squeeze on her behind. She pressed herself against him and pulled away in delight.  
  
"Oooh let me see," she squealed as she tried to open his yukata, reaching into it trying to grasp for something, "Why did I think that this would be fun."  
  
"Oro," he blinked at her as she continue to squeeze the fake silicone that rested against his chest.  
  
"Whoa, what are you trying to do to Kenshin," Sanosuke came out of the the dressing room, chewing on a fishbone of course, wearing a tight red tube top and a pair of tight sparkly black pants which left no imagination to his... ehem... package. His head was covered by a short brown color bob wig.  
  
"It's me, Kaoru," She smiled.   
  
Sanosuke shook his head, this day kept getting weirder and now he was watching the missy grope his friend.  
  
"Well I was trying to feel his boobs, but I don't know, they don't feel as bouncy as mine," Kaoru continue on as she also place a hand on her own. The two men stared as if she grew another head. They didn't know what to think, all they knew they were oddly turned on by this.  
  
"Let me check," Sano offered, unaware that Kenshin eye colored had change.  
  
"Touch her and I'll have your head," Battousai gruff as he held Kaoru closer, who was unattentive to the two men.  
  
"Or maybe not," Sano answered meekly backing away from the couple watching Kenshin's eyes go back to a sedated violet.   
  
"Well how do I look," Kamatari strolled to the group in a blue lounge sequin dress, with his hair in a black beehive.  
  
"Kamatari, you look great and tall," Kaoru broke consentration to Kenshin's fake breast to stared at the queen staring at his feet that carried platform matching blue shoes.  
  
"It's the shoes isn't it, They say down on your knees, don't they," He did a little turned and kicked up his shoes.  
  
"I was thinking, I'm a boy in a dress, but whatever you believe in," Sano let out a laughed  
  
"Hmmm, nice pants rooster head, really nice. Lose a poker game," He looked at Sano up and down, holding back a laugh and a thought.  
  
"I'm getting tired of hearing you talk," Sano retorted.   
  
"Kamatari," Kaoru spoke breaking the argument.  
  
"Yes Kaoru," Kamatari walked to the girl as he fixed her hat.  
  
"Can I feel your breast," Her eyebrows knitted together as she stared at the girl's face.   
  
"Oro"  
  
"Sure I don't mind, I think."  
  
"Jump," Kaoru commanded.  
  
"WHAT??" Kamatari yelled.   
  
"Jump"  
  
"Ok," he answer unsurely, but he did as he said. Kaoru pointed to Kamatari's chest.  
  
"See Kamatari, bouncy breast. Kenshin, no bounce," Kenshin could not believe what was happening to him, First his wife talked, well maybe not talked, worked her way into getting him into a dress, and now she was talking about compared to her and a drag queen, his boobs were not bouncy.  
  
"Well Kenshin lets fix that then," Kaoru released his fake breast and pushed him over to Kamatari, he watched Sano, who was laughing hysterically at the scene before him.  
  
"Kenshin come here," Kamatari reached under the yukata into his dress to adjust his bust area, He thought for a moment as his face lit up, and he ran into the kitchen of the Akabeko. Running back and shoved the item back into the bust line.  
  
"There you go, now jump." Kamatari laughed, clapping his hands and watching Kaoru's eyes glow, "See Kaoru, bouncy breast."  
  
"I don't know why I feel that this should be more erotic," They all could not help but laugh at her comment.  
  
"It's made out of vanilla pudding so now it's edible," Kamatari watched as the men looked bewilder at her and Kaoru had a large smile on her face.  
  
"I feel that this is something else, perverted maybe, missy," she smiled at Kamatari then back to Kenshin.  
  
"He gropes my breasts all the time and dammit I want to grope his for once."  
  
  
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"I don't know what to say, about that?" Misao peeked out the door of the girls dressing room.  
  
"About what," Megumi checked her behind in the mirror as she gave herself a proud pat.  
  
"Never mind," Misao stared at a Megumi, who thoroughly check herself in the front, "I think I'm gonna check on Lord Aoshi."  
  
"Whatever," Megumi checked behind her at the swinging closed door.  
  
  
  
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"We are on in fifteen minutes," Tae screamed so the whole backstage could hear.  
  
  
  
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_**The show about to start and everyone expriencing pre-jitters before the show, in their own way. How will it go??? Is everyone ready to see Makoto Shishio perform....**_  
  
  
_Sam: I'm not ready to see him perform._  
  
_IM: Maybe not but all well_  
  
_**Next part: Preshow and THE SHOW **_  
  
_IM: Anyone got any request before I begin all you got to do is tell me and I try to fit it in._


	2. It starts

  
  
**Kamatari's All Out Drag Show**  
**Part 2 out of 5**  
By Kimi (Iron Mouse)  
  
**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, I'm just a poor student trying to figure how to pay next month rent._  
  
**Author's Notes:** _I felt I had to do a humor fic, I was in the mood and being attendance to my own friend's drag shows. I had to, I just had to. Anyway other stories. Crimson Tears is on hiatus, until I figure what I want to do with it. Out of Control, well chapter three is out, and there maybe a one shot prequel coming soon._

_On this story, I know that the wait was long, and I'm quite sorry about that. This story need to work on in a quirky mood and a conversation on how we would like Soujiro dressed in. Now I really wanted this to be done in three parts, but I know it isn't going to happen that way. So I'm guessing five at the max. We are not gonna get any higher than five. _

_There is a bit of shonen-ai, most of it on Kamatari's part. _  
_On the most part this is Non-yaoi. _  
  
_Please refrain from flaming my story because you don't believe in homosexuality. I don't mind flames, they are only beliefs. If you don't agree with it, then it's quite simple.___

_Oh before I forget... This is all humor. So feel free to laugh maybe cry but laughing is better._

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**About how the text works:**

During performances I have to things a bit different so. Bold means lyrics, Italics means performers' actions, Regular means regular dialog.

**Apple – **when in bold during this will mean the performer is singing since knowing me there is dialogue from the others from the audience and backstage.

_Apple_ – when in italics during this will mean the performers actions so it won't warp with the others every where else.

* * *

"We're on in fifteen minutes," Tae screamed woke everyone out of their willing daze. She loved watching the men get nervous, it was sure going to be a fun filled evening as she held onto a blue folder tightly.

"Oh no, I love you Kaoru, I do, but no," Kenshin yelled dolled up like a prostitute. His normally tide up hair was down is a set of spiral curls done by of course Kamatari. He looked at his wife, whose pants were about to fall off her hips. She was plain out happy about the ordeal, "But to this breast thing, and Kaoru this is plain out humiliating."

She held his face in her hands kissing his made up face, just nodding absently as he complained. Honestly she did not know why he was complaining, he agreed to do it, "What if I get felt up."

Kaoru rolled her eyes and sighed, "You already did."

"Not by you, by anyone else," he was acting like a child in her eyes. It was only a show for crying out loud, she thought.

"Stop acting like a baby," She gave him a peck on the cheek making him smile a bit. He was tempted to make it become more when Sano showed up.

"Oi Kenshin, a group of us plan to get shitface, you in."

"Go, If it build up confidence then go," Kaoru smiled at the men's way to relieve tension pushing Kenshin toward the dressing room, heading back to the woman's. Sano patted the ex-hitokiri in drag pushing along to the room where men were just plain out trying not to remember anything they did tonight.

"Kenshin's in."

"Whoa Soujiro, slow down," Cho looked at the young boy as he was chugging down his second jug of sake planning to head for the third.

"I heard about his routine, let the boy drink," Shishio laughed as he stood up in his outfit causing all the men to grabbed for the nearest sake jug to forget the memory of ever seeing that.

People of all sorts walked into the Akabeko, at the same table Seijuro Hiko, Dr. Genzai, and Okina could be seen. Misao laughed looking around, "There is sure a crowd tonight."

"Is that Tokio, look at her," Kaoru looked through the curtain at Hajime Saitou's wife Tokio, who was wearing a bright red pinstripe pimp jacket and skirt, with a matching fedora attached to it was a small black feather. Tokio bowed at her hat at the girls, as the girls gave fox calls to her.

"Where did she get that hat from?" Kamatari asked as the group notice they did not come alone, she came with her own damn entourage.

"No wonder, Saitou here," Megumi fox ears appeared as the group nodded.

Tae walk on the stage still holding her blue folder grabbing on to the microphone, "Ladies and Gentlemen from far and wide, I like to introduce our host Kamatari."__

_Kamatari comes out dressed in a blue lounge sequin dress, white gloves adoring his hands, matching blue stilettos on his feet, with his hair in a black beehive._

**I can't get no satisfaction**

_He walks down the mini staircase leading to the audience, lifting up a chin of a nearby guy busy ogling Kamatari's assets._

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"Let me go," Sano was holding the struggling teen as the group watched Kamatari's performance. He slipped the boy a pill, who just chewed it hoping to get out of the situation.

"Chew it, it helps."

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**I can't get no satisfaction**

_Sitting on the man lap, he removes one of the gloves tossing overhead letting a group of drunken men fight over it. Soon he did the same with the other one._

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"First you lock me in a closet and molest me, then you put me in this out fit, and you want me to lose my dignity," Yahiko Myojin yelled at his teacher who he thought plain out lost her damn mind

"We didn't molest you," Misao retorted back

"Did you see that," Kaoru said amused by Kamatari's womanly skills on the audience.

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****

**And I try**

_Heading back up the stairs, crawling back up as if he was a cat._

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"They are like dogs out there," Megumi looked at the observation at the men and even the woman screaming for the drag queen.

"And he a p… well cat," Sano earned a smack on the back of his head from the girls, "A little lower I'll be a happy man," He gave the girls a wink.

"Hey Sano, this stuff works."

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****

**And I try**

_Once on the stage, he flips on his back causing a riot in the men, who find this erotic not really paying attention that he a man._

**And I try**

_Continues with his floor dance as the turned on men itches towards the stage. He sits up dangling his legs over the balcony. One of the men at this point lifts Kamatari's leg up on his shoulder. _

**And I try**

_Kamatari smiles at the man before pushing him away with his other leg into a table. _

**I can't get no, I can't get no satisfaction**

"Welcome to the first ever all out drag show," Kamatari screamed before turning on his microphone pack.

"Can you hear me now," He waved to the back of the crowd, who were giving thumbs up for their hearing abilities as he continued to talk, "Here is my protege' performing for all of you, Yuna."

_Yahiko get pushed out on the stage by Kaoru, and screams from the audience get loud at the sight of Yahiko's Catholic school girl outfit along with a blonde wig. His head is down as the music comes on._****

**Show me**

_Yahiko moves a bit to the music, as he feels a push on his back only to see Yutaro sing behind him in a matching outfit._

**How you want it **__

_Not to be outdone, Yahiko moves to the floor as Yutaro stays on the stage._

**To be **

**Tell me baby**

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****

****

"Jou-chan, you knew that would happen didn't you," Sano watched as Yahiko seriously began to outperform Yutaro on stage.

"Of course I did," Kaoru only smiled knowing that her plan had work.

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****

**My loneliness is kill me**

_Yahiko has made it through the crowd noticing Okina with a weird look on his face._

**And I**

_Yahiko eyes wide as he felt someone touched his butt._

**I must confess I still believe**

**Still believe**

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"Shit, shit shit," Sano started to yell as he grabbed a bottle of Jack from one of the other males backstage, "No one said anything about grabbing my ass."

"Calm down Rooster head, it's not like you have an ass to grab," Kamatari laughed as he made his way to his dressing room for a costume change.

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**When I'm not with you I lose my mind **

_Yahiko makes it back to stage dancing next to Yutaro before slowly trying to push his rival closer to the edge_

**Give me a sign **

_With a little shove, Yutaro falls into the crowd as Yahiko performs his final move_

**Hit me baby one time**

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****

"Did you see that," Laughter erupted from the males as the young Tokyo samurai performance ended.

"I was not expecting that at all."

"I'm going to check on Yutaro," Kaoru headed over to the floor where her student was push.

"Sanosuke dear, you are next, my leather clad sweetheart," Kamatari grabbed the ex-fighter for hire assets causing a jump and a yell.

"I'm not your sweetheart, damn transvestite" Sano yelled as he adjusted his red top before he watched the light go dim.

* * *

Oh goodness, Sano is up next, as well as Shishio, Aoshi, and Soujiro.

_Sam: Still not ready to see him perform_


End file.
